I watched a girl spit in a shot glass and hand it to a guy who had just hit on her. He drank it. I still think about it.

I faked a seizure once to get out of a bar tab. The EMT was hot, so I gave him my number.

Hooked up in the DJ booth during a packed Saturday night. No one noticed… or they pretended not to.

Had a panic attack mid-grind and just laid down on the dancefloor like I was planking.

Had a one-night stand with a bartender and came back the next weekend. He comped my drinks and called me ‘sis.’

Cried during a lap dance. Still tipped $100.

Wore a fur coat and nothing underneath. Got dared to prove it. Did.

Stayed so late the staff gave me a broom. I helped clean up for another drink.

Went home with someone… only realized mid-hookup it was my coworker’s cousin.

Made out with someone in the bathroom. Five minutes later, made out with their sibling by accident.

Dropped my vape under the stage and crawled under mid-performance to get it.

Recorded a fight in the parking lot and sold the video to a meme page for $150.

Took my heels off and forgot them. Left the bar in socks and pride.

Threw my drink in my ex’s face. Then hooked up with him again 20 minutes later.

Confessed my love to my best friend at last call. Blamed it on the tequila the next day. I meant it.

Did a kegstand once and blacked out, woke up with a parking cone in my bathtub.

Snuck into the kitchen and made myself a quesadilla. Left a tip and a thank-you note.

Paid for one dance. Stayed for three. Forgot to close my tab and my mouth.

Started a dance party in the women’s restroom. Fuck guys

Made out with a guy for so long we got applause from the table. Didn’t even catch his name. I'm married

I woke up with a stranger’s hoodie, and no idea how I got home.

I once sobbed to a stranger in the bathroom stall about my breakup… then made out with him in the parking lot 30 minutes later.

Threw up in my purse, wiped my mouth, and went right back to dancing.

Catfished my ex’s new girl at the bar using a fake profile I made just to see if she’d flirt back. We matched. I showed up wearing a hat and sunglasses. She bought me a drink. I ghosted her the next morning, and my ex still has no idea I was ever there.

Ate someone’s leftover nachos while they were in the bathroom. Made eye contact with them as I chewed the last chip.

Slid into the kitchen looking for fries. Left with the cook’s number instead.

Ripped my dress climbing out of a booth. Bartender gave me duct tape. Looked hot anyway.

Tattooed my number on a girl’s thigh with a sharpie. She texted me two months later.

Knocked over a table candle during a heated kiss. Fire alarm went off. Totally worth it.

Hooked up in the back of a Lyft after leaving here. Driver never said a word. 5 stars.

Brought a date. Ditched them when my situationship showed up. They ended up drinking together.

Used a cracked iPhone screen as a mirror to fix my lashes. Cut my lip. Still posted a selfie.

Grabbed the karaoke mic and yelled ‘free shots on me!’ I wasn’t even drunk. Just chaotic.

Climbed up on the bar and flashed the security camera. Manager kicked me out but asked for my number the next day.

Accidentally left glitter all over the VIP couch from my… situation. Denied everything.

Only went home with him after he sent me $100. It was a good investment… for me.

Hooked up with a guy in the parking lot and found out he was married… to the woman I had just taken a shot with.

Said I drove a Bentley. Really drove a busted Nissan. She made out with me anyway

Swapped phones with a stranger to add our numbers. I Venmo’d myself $40.